"Time Being Lost"

If you haven’t moved out of your Ball State dorm… you should probably get on that because they close today at 10:00 pm (eastern time zone).  I am moved out and in the warmth of my own home and have been since March 13th. In our last class face- to - face lecture we discussed the closing of our University and the work and responsibilities that still remain.  

I am personally finding it so hard to just know what the professors are assigning and the expectations.  This pandemic hasn’t only shocked us and our loved ones but it has shocked the world. Professors are struggling with this just as much as us.  

I remember getting the email that I got to go home and I was so excited, I got to go back to the warmth and comfort of my family, my own bathroom, a door to isolate myself, ect.  But then I quickly thought about how my freshman year had abruptly come to an end on that Wednesday night at approximately 6 pm. All the friends I made are from the Indianapolis area and I’m from the Chicagoland area, Chicago is 30 minutes away and Lake Michigan is about 10 minutes away (depending on traffic and how many green lights I make).  All my new friends I had to say good-bye to. On the drive home the coming Friday I thought about the Seniors that worked for this year the past 3 years just for this one year. Gone. Graduation for them. Gone.   

I then thought about my high school friends since I’m relatively fresh out-of high school, Senior prom, their graduation, them throwing their caps in the air, the nerves of walking across the stage, the day after prom plans, the hassle of getting ready for prom, the non-refundable money already spent on dresses, the down payment of tuxs.  All... Gone. I hate this for them.

It wasn’t until I got home and saw my mom (a 1st grade teacher) when I thought about the students who are abused by their parents and less fortunate families.  For the kids that look at school as a safe haven or a get out, this time they are stuck with their abusers. For the students that solely depend on meals that the schools provide, they are no longer getting them.  And for the parents of the children that are put on leave without pay. My heart breaks and I think about them everyday. An old english teacher of mine from high school made a Facebook post about a family who depends on the school’s breakfast and lunch to feed them, and was collecting goods for them.  I dropped a lot of stuff off. The thoughts I had feared and knew were happening in the school district I grew up in. I’m just in so much shock that all of this is happening, the demand in quarantine and proms and graduations being canceled it all just seems so unreal.